Novels & Main Online store T-shirts, posters Paul & Events Blog Contact Paul
Beneficial Murders
Read an excerpt

Beneficial Murders

Deeply upset by rampant naughtiness, Santa Claus decides to launch nuclear missiles at the world. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer argues he’s being too rash, that not all humans are bad. Santa agrees to cancel the missile strike if he can find someone who will slay twenty-nine bad people by Christmas Eve. He settles on his kin Sam Mollusk of Poway, California.

Sam begins by killing the neighborhood terrorist. Medusa, lonely for millennia because of the snakes on her head, loves Sam and follows his every move.

Meanwhile, root-beer-loving Afghan terrorists Nar and Salah are hoping to gain membership in Poway’s Al Qaeda cell and become Tupperware salesmen as cover.

Can Sam prevent Al Qaeda’s fiendish plot and Santa’s nuclear holocaust? Will Sam survive shopping WalMart on Christmas Eve?

Praise For Beneficial Murders

"Some people deserve to be killed. In Beneficial Murders, Paul R. De Lancey's hilarious take on murder will have you laughing out loud. In the lighthearted tradition of his anthologies, Bump Off Your Enemies and The Darwin Murders, Paul proves that murder is indeed something to laugh about."

Candace C. Bowen, Author of the Award-Winning, A Knight of Silence

"The silliness continues in Paul DeLancey's newest effort, pitting Santa Claus against Al Qaeda and skewering everything from big business to global warming to cultural icons in the ensuing fracas. Will goodness and true love win out? Will Christmas come again? Anything goes in the wacky worlds created in the imagination of this writer."

Judy Reeves, author of A Writer's Book of Days

"To read a Paul De Lancey novel is to enter into a world of eccentric, outlandish farce. In Beneficial Murders— zounds! — the very existence of one of the Western world’s most cherished traditions, Christmas, is threatened with extinction."

Roger L. Conlee, author of Fog and Darkness and The Hindenburg Letter

"If you read only one book this year on the lighter arts of homicide, then read De Lancey's hilarious Beneficial Murders."

– Jeff Thurman, Special Agent, FBI (retired)